The Apocalypse Realization
by MarieofIlledra
Summary: In a casual conversation about the zombie apocalypse, Leonard realizes something about the relationship between his ex and his roommate.
1. The Apocalypse Realization

It was Anything-Can-Happen-Thursday, and for once, the boys weren't rushing off to try and pick up women. Instead, they had ordered pizza and were sitting around drinking and talking. They had lapsed into an informal question game, and everyone was having a surprisingly good time.

Raj took a small sip of his sangria, setting it deliberately down afterwards. He was determined not to get drunk, but he was thoroughly enjoying being able to speak freely. Penny leaned over from where she sat on the couch between Howard and Sheldon and patted his arm.

"Don't worry, sweetie, I watered yours down a bit extra. You can finish that glass without getting drunk, I promise."

He smiled gratefully at her. He was working on talking to her without any alcohol, but wasn't quite there yet. Penny gave him a genuine grin. She had been surprised to realize how sweet he could be when he wasn't so terrified by her.

Howard sat forward dramatically. "Okay, I'm up. Alright, let me think…. Oh! Okay. Zombie apocalypse hits unexpectedly. Out of the five of us, you can only save one. Who is it and why?"

Leonard groaned dramatically. "Okay, um… Zombies. I would save… Penny, I guess."

Penny rolled her eyes. "Just to be clear, in no way am I repopulating the earth with _any_ of you."

Leonard flushed. "Not because of that. I just think that, you know, if I can save someone, she's probably the one who deserves to die the least."

Penny couldn't help but laugh at that, as the others rolled their eyes and Sheldon frowned deeply.  
"Leonard, if you recall, there is a clause about this in our roommate agreement. And I find that your judgment of Penny being the one who deserves to –"

Leonard cut him off. "Okay, who would you save then?"

Sheldon looked surprised that he had to ask. "Penny, of course."

Everyone turned to him, jaws dropping. Penny smiled smugly.

"Dude," Raj started, "You did hear the part about no sex, right?"

Sheldon ignored this. "Unlike Leonard's rather bizarre gesture, I have a perfectly logical rational for picking Penny. I believe that having her along will increase the chances of both of our continued survival. She is an excellent shot, in peak physical shape, and requires less sustenance than any of the rest of you."

Penny grinned at his logic. "Thank you, sweetie."

Leonard gaped. "What, so I have to save _you_ but you can just leave _me _for dead?"

Sheldon shrugged. "Don't blame me; it was Howard's stipulation that I could only choose one. And besides, you signed away that privilege in our roommate contract several years ago."

Leonard sighed, letting it go. "Okay, Raj, you are up."

Raj smiled sweetly. "Sorry, Penny, hate to break the trend but I'm going with Howard. We have our survival plan all worked out."

Howard nodded in agreement. "Unless Penny puts sex back on the table…" He eyed her hopefully and she shuddered, scooting slightly closer to Sheldon. "… fine, Raj, then. Our survival plan is _pretty_ awesome."

All eyes turned to Penny and she laughed as she took in their expressions. Leonard was shifting, pushing out his chest and trying his best to look attractive. On the seat next to her, Howard was arranging himself into the exact some pose. She suppressed a sigh. Raj grinned at her, clearly having noticed her irritation at their antics. On her other side, seated primly in his spot, Sheldon smiled calmly at her.

"Sorry, guys, I'm going with Sheldon." She declared, deliberately ignoring Leonard's hurt expression. "He's the one with the plan for every disaster, and he's not such a terrible shot himself."

Sheldon smirked. "In case you are wondering, we also have a survival plan that is, to quote Howard, 'pretty awesome'."

Howard raised an eyebrow. "This is something that you have discussed before?"

Sheldon eyed him arrogantly. "Of course, Howard. We have discussed all the possible disasters, natural or otherwise, and have devised survival plans for all of them."

Penny matched his expression perfectly, reveling in the horrified expressions on everyone else's face. She should stop, really she should, but she couldn't resist pushing them a tiny bit farther.

"And, if we did end up having to repopulate the world… let's face it, we would basically be single handedly advancing the human race."

Sheldon turned her, looking impressed. "That is excellent logic, Penny. With your looks and my intelligence, our children would rule the world."

Leonard went pale and collapsed against his seat, mouth opening and closing soundlessly. Howard had frozen completely in place, apparently unable to process the conspiratorial smiles that Penny and Sheldon were passing. Raj sat forward, a slight smile on his face. This was hilarious.

Leonard turned desperately towards Sheldon. "Bazinga?"

Sheldon frowned slightly. "What part of this conversation do you think is a joke?"

He turned back to Penny. "You…you would have his children? What happened to the no sex rule?"

Penny finally decided to take pity on him. "Leonard, sweetie, you do remember that this is an entire hypothetical conversation about the _zombie apocalypse _don't you?"

"Oh, well, yeah. I mean, of course. Right. Sorry?"

Penny reached across Sheldon and patted Leonard's hand. "Good. Ooh, I guess I'm up. Okay, um…"

Leonard got up to get some water, only halfway listening to Penny's next question. Raj joined him in the kitchen.

"You okay, dude? You know they were joking, right?"

Leonard shook his head. "They might have been kidding about this, but they definitely have a weird chemistry. And in a really strange way they are absolutely perfect for each other. It just kind of hit me."

Raj patted him on the shoulder. "Oh, that."

Leonard shook his head. "You've noticed it too?"

Raj nodded. "Yeah, they haven't really caught on yet though." His face brightened. "I know it's weird at first, but when you are ready…. Howard and I have bets on what Sheldon does when he figures it out."

Leonard grimed mischievously. "Sheldon? I want to see Penny's face when she realizes she's practically in a relationship with Dr. Whack-A-Doodle."


	2. The Avengers Supposition

Penny was on the phone with Amy when she first noticed it. They were talking about the plans for attending the midnight showing of the new Avengers movie, and Amy had called to inquire as to what time Penny and Sheldon would arrive at the theatre.

"According to the schedule that Sheldon handed me this morning, we are supposed to arrive at exactly eight forty five." Penny rolled her eyes and smiled at the thought of their crazy friend.

"Very well, I will see you both there at eight fifty then. I know you; you will be a few minutes late at least."

Penny laughed. "I'm considering taking pity on him this time, he is really nervous about this movie. He has some pretty high expectations for it."

She could hear Amy nodding on the other side of the line. "Will Leonard be accompanying you? Or driving separately?"

Penny paused, struck by the strangeness of the question. "Why wouldn't Leonard ride with us?"

Amy hesitated imperceptibly. "No reason, bestie. I will see you tonight!"

Huh, that was strange. Oh well. She shrugged, chalking it up to Amy's normal social awkwardness. Now, to find something to wear tonight….

She put it out of her head and didn't consider it again until they reached the theatre. She had, indeed, taken pity on Sheldon and picked him up exactly at the time specified on the schedule. Much to her surprise, when they arrived at the theatre, the others were already there. They were second in line, and Sheldon sighed in relief.

"Oh, good. We arrived early enough to have our choice of seating in the theatre. I was worried about that."

Penny absently patted his arm. "I know, sweetie, trust me. We all were."

Howard waved them over, and Bernadette rushed to Penny's side immediately.

"Oh, thank heavens. The boys are driving me crazy; none of them can sit still for more than a second."

Leonard, who had ended up staying late at work and riding with Raj, punctuated her point by immediately leaping to his feet and starting to pace. "But this is _The Avengers! _What if it's terrible? What if it turns into another…" He lowered his voice, "_Spiderman_."

Sheldon gasped loudly. "Don't even suggest such a thing! Need I remind you that this movie is written by Joss Whedon, the brilliant creator of _Firefly_?"

Penny stifled a laugh at her friend's antics. She waved at Sheldon to catch his attention. "Bernie and I are going to go get snacks. You want the usual?"

He nodded absently, still deeply involved in his discussion with Leonard.

Penny linked arms with the diminutive blond, happy to have a female friend with her. "You have no idea how glad I am to have you here." She muttered.

Bernadette smiled. "Me too! But where are we going? The snacks are that way." She pointed the opposite direction from where they were headed.

Penny nodded. "I know. I have a friend who works here, though, I'm going to check if he's working tonight."

She brightened as a very attractive man in the polo shirt worn by employees headed towards them. "Matt! Hi!"

She gushed, turning on the charm.

Bernadette raised an eyebrow. Of course, a cute boy. No wonder Penny had dressed up.

Penny turned to her, smiling sweetly. "I have to talk to Matt here for just one second, will you do me a huge favor?"

Bernadette nodded trustingly. Penny handed her a debit card. "Can you get two boxes of red vines and a cherry slushy? And then bring them here instead of back to the boys? Oh! And skittles for me, please."  
Bernadette nodded, although she found the situation highly suspicious. This wasn't like Penny. Usually she was all about flaunting cute boys.

Penny grinned gratefully at her. "Thanks, sweetie. I'll explain when you get back I swear." She hissed in an undertone before greeting Matt with an enthusiastic hug.

"Wow, look at you. All dressed down and in uniform!" She teased as Bernadette disappeared around the corner.

He blushed. "Yeah, I know. I look like an idiot."

"Oh, not at all! How are things with Alicia? Still going strong?"

His face lit up in a brilliant smile. "She is amazing. Thank you so much for setting us up, I really like her."

Penny grinned, genuinely thrilled for her friends. "I'm glad you are happy because I am going to need a huge favor."

When Bernadette returned, Penny was standing alone in the corridor, a contented smile on her face. "What was that about?" She inquired.

Penny shook her head. "It's stupid, you will see. And I would appreciate it if you didn't tell the boys about this. It's kind of a surprise."

Bernadette nodded. She went to hand Penny back the credit card, hesitating at the last second as she read the name on the card.

"Is this Sheldon's card?"

Penny nodded absently. "Yeah, why?"

Bernadette stared at it in disbelief. "It's covered in Hello Kitty."

Penny grinned. "I know, isn't it cute? It's Sheldon's account, but my card to it. He gave it to me awhile ago; it's much easier than trying to keep track of what I buy for him and how much he owes me for gas."

Bernadette grinned. The guys were going to _flip _when she told them about this.

They reached the boys and immediately began passing out their haul. Howard instantly turned to Bernadette and Penny smiled. It was cute how much those two liked each other, even if she couldn't understand Bernie's attraction to the pervy man.

Her thoughts were interrupted as Amy arrived. "Bestie!" Amy greeted enthusiastically. Penny laughed, disentangling herself from the hug before Amy's hands could begin to wander.

"Are you ready for the night of your life?" Amy inquired breathlessly. Her love of the actors in this movie was somewhat legendary amongst their group.

Penny nodded, allowing herself to get caught up in the enthusiasm of her friends.

It was half an hour until the doors opened, and the boys had finally settled into an excited silence. Amy, Penny, and Bernadette were just finishing up a rousing debate over who looked better shirtless, Thor (Amy and Bernadette) or Captain America (Amy and Penny).

Penny turned to her brunette friend with a grin. "You have to pick one, Ames, you can't just agree with both of us! It's-"

She broke off as she saw Matt approaching their little group.

She nudged Sheldon. "I know you don't like surprises, but be nice, okay? This is a good one." Sheldon immediately looked nervous, but she shushed him when he tried to question her.

Matt reached them and cleared his throat, looking very official.

"Excuse me, which one of you is Dr. Sheldon Cooper?" Tentatively, Sheldon raised his hand. "Right. I'm going to have to ask all of you to come with me."

The boys all immediately started to protest, but one quick look from the girls to Penny made them hop to their feet.

Penny gripped Sheldon's arm. "Trust me, sweetie. Just go along with it." She hissed.

He hesitated, but did not voice his complaints. Amy reached Leonard and kicked him not-terribly-subtly in the shin. "Shush, whatever this is, Penny planned it."

Howard had taken one look at Bernadette and meekly gathered his snacks, smacking Raj when he had remained stubbornly on the ground.

Matt led the nervous group around the corner of the theatre and looked furtively around before opening a door marked 'exit only'.

"Sorry for the scene back there, people would freak out if they knew I was letting you guys in early."

As one, the boys' mouths dropped open. "Early?" Howard whispered reverently.

Matt smiled at their amazed expressions. "I owed Penny a favor. I understand that you all are particular about where you sit in the theatre?"

Sheldon turned suddenly to Penny, throwing his arms around her in a swift hug. He just as suddenly pushed away from her, darting into the theatre to find the perfect seat.

Penny blushed as everyone turned to her. "Leonard, Howard, Raj, go on." She urged.

The boys bolted after Sheldon, leaving the girls and Matt still staring at her in awe.

"Oh, so it's _that_ guy." Matt remarked.

Penny laughed. "Oh, no. It's not like that. He's just… Sheldon. And he feels very strongly about this movie."

Her words sounded lame, even to her. "Stop it, all of you!" She insisted. Matt laughed, excusing himself from their group.

Bernie grinned at her friend. "I think that it's very sweet of you."

Amy nodded. "Yup, this is why you are such a wonderful friend and person."

Penny rolled her eyes at her friends and dragged them into the theatre. Sheldon had located his seat, and was carefully arranging his slushy and red vines into the cup holders.

"That's Penny's seat!" Sheldon objected as Howard tried to take the seat on his right.

"Sorry, Penny." He apologized, shifting down so she could sit between Sheldon and Amy. Bernadette seated herself next to Amy, and Leonard filed in on Sheldon's other side. Raj, smiling quietly, settled in next to Howard.

Penny settled into her seat, confused by Howard's apology. She hadn't heard Sheldon's protest.

"Thank you." Sheldon whispered, nestling her skittles into the cup holder next to his red vines.

She squeezed his hand briefly. "I just wanted you to have a good seat. I know how important this is to you."

The movie had begun, and so far they were all captivated. Part of the fun of going to the midnight premiere was that the entire audience was equally into the movie. Everyone gasped and cheered at the good moments.

Sheldon, despite his distaste for people talking during movies, found himself on the edge of his seat. "No, no, oh no!" He whispered. "Penny, he's going to lose control! The Hulk could tear apart that entire ship!"

Penny nodded, riveted by the screen. "She's stuck! She'll never survive if he-"

Everyone in the theatre gasped as Natasha pulled her leg out of the rubble just as the Hulk finished his transformation.

Penny sighed in relief, and then tensed as Natasha ran down the hallway. She hated when things jumped out at characters during movies and she just knew that- She shrieked as the Hulk appeared suddenly on screen.

"Oh my god." She muttered, gripping Sheldon's arm so tightly she was probably leaving bruises.

He made no move to shake her off.

The movie ended, and the entire theatre burst out in applause.

Penny grinned as Sheldon got to his feet, preparing to leave.

"Sweetie, stay. Matt says there's another clip after the credits."

He sank immediately back into his seat. Leonard sent him a strange look. "You guys coming?"

Penny shook her head. "Not over yet." She explained, laughing at the enthusiasm with which they all sat back down.

They discussed the movies in hushed tones as they waited, and Penny was thrilled to discover that everyone had loved it as much as she had.

"Did you _see _Thor?" Amy squealed. "I'm going to have to side with Bernadette now."

Penny snorted. "Honestly, I think that my favorite was Loki." She confessed. "I know he's the villain, but you've got to admit, he's the most interesting character."

Leonard laughed. "You liked the tall, skinny, dark haired, crazy one? No way." His voice was thick with sarcasm as he cut his eyes dramatically at Sheldon. Howard and Raj giggled.

Penny raised her eyebrows at the insinuation. That was ridiculous. It wasn't like she _liked _Sheldon. Just because Sheldon happened to have a slight resemblance to a guy she liked in a movie…

Or maybe she liked Loki because he resembled Sheldon, a tiny voice inside her head whispered. The voice sounded annoyingly like Sheldon.

Ignoring the thought, she turned her attention gratefully to the screen as the clip began.

As soon as it finished she poked Sheldon's arm. "Who was that?"

Sheldon launched into an explanation of the history of the Avengers and their enemies, to which she listened halfheartedly.

She grabbed his arm as he went to rise again.

"Nope, one more."

Leonard grinned. "Another clip? This movie is amazing!" Everyone nodded. Bernadette leaned across Amy.

"We are going to head back to my apartment and hang out. There's not much point in trying to sleep tonight. You guys want to come?"

Amy nodded, "I will be there."

Penny turned pleading eyes to Sheldon. "Oh, can we? I know you won't get your sleep, but you wouldn't get proper REM tonight anyways…"

Sheldon sighed as she pouted prettily at him. "Very well, I suppose one night of not following my schedule won't kill me."

"Yes!" She turned back to Bernadette. "Let's do it! You still have all the games from last game night?"

She nodded. "Yes, and Amy has volunteered to bring movies. Can you and Sheldon cover snacks?"

Penny nodded, and the group fell silent as the second clip began to play.

They all met back at Bernadette's apartment, the adrenaline high still not worn off. They discussed the movie avidly, the girls giggling over the superheroes and the boys debating the canon of the film.

Eventually, however, the late hour began to wear on them and they settled into the living room to watch a movie. Sheldon was in the kitchen popping the popcorn, after insisting that no one else would be able to do it without burning the popcorn.

Howard and Bernadette settled into a recliner, their small statures allowing them both to fit easily. Raj, Leonard, and Amy settled in various spots on the floor, leaving the love seat for Penny and Sheldon.

She was just considering if she wanted a drink or not when the implications hit her.

"OH MY GOD!" She shrieked, leaping to her feet. Startled, everyone turned to her.

Her face was pale, and she had one hand clapped over her mouth. "Oh, my God." She repeated. "What the hell?"

Bernadette turned excitedly to Howard. "Do you think she's figured it out?"

He hushed her, eying Leonard and Raj with glee.

Amy leapt up to stabilize her friend. "Penny? What's wrong?" She inquired.

Penny swayed slightly. "Um, I just…I think…" She turned suddenly to Leonard.

"Leonard. Why didn't you ride with us to the movie?" She demanded.

He raised an eyebrow. "Um. Well, I was with Raj?"

She turned on Amy. "Why did you know that he wouldn't ride with us?"

She paled further as she realized what she just said. "Why didn't anyone think that Leonard would be driving Sheldon? Doesn't that make more sense, given that they are roommates and all?" Her voice had passed panic and was rising quickly to hysterical.

Sheldon poked his head into the room. "Bernadette, I require your assistance in the kitchen. I can't find your salt."

Bernadette swallowed hard. It was time for Penny to know. "Why do you want salt? The popcorn comes pre salted." She knew the answer, they all did, but she wanted Penny to hear him say it.

Sheldon shook his head at her in disapproval. "You know that Penny prefers her popcorn with extra salt. Honestly, how long have you known her?" His voice trailed off as they walked back to the kitchen.

Penny collapsed into the couch, speechless. "Leonard?" She rasped finally.

He rushed over to her, fidgeting nervously. "Why does everyone act like Sheldon and I are a couple?" She demanded hoarsely.

"Well, um. Maybe it's because you and Sheldon act like a couple?" he suggested tentatively, backing out of her reach as she sat bolt upright, an angry flush on her cheeks.

"We do no such thing!" She hissed.

Amy sighed, patting her best friend on the hand pityingly. "Of course you do. We have all noticed it. You both check each other's schedules before you agree to anything, you text each other constantly-"

Raj nodded, whispering something into Howard's ear. "You do laundry together, and eat together most every night." Howard repeated. "You have one of his credit cards, for goodness sake." He added, almost as an afterthought.

"And you've stopped dating other people completely." Leonard pointed out helpfully. "It's rather incriminating." He said, almost apologetically.

Amy was less gentle. "Frankly, I'm surprised you haven't caught on yet. You are usually so good at reading social situations."

Leonard nudged her. "Of course," She added hastily, "Leonard reminds me that when your own feelings are involved it is much harder to see the truth."

"My _WHAT_?" Penny shrieked, leaping to her feet. Leonard scrambled backwards, nearly falling in his haste to get out of hitting range.

Sheldon appeared in the doorway. "What on earth are you making that ungodly noise for?" He absently handed her their bowl of popcorn and sat on his half of the couch.

"Are you sitting?" He asked expectantly. She stood frozen, staring intently at him.

He sighed impatiently. "Penny, I cannot put down our drinks until I know how you plan on sitting. Setting them down randomly will almost certainly result in you spilling one or both of them as you remain incapable of sitting still throughout the duration of a movie."

Raj, Howard, and Bernadette burst out laughing. The timing was too perfect. Amy and Leonard smiled, but remained on their feet, watching Penny intently.

Penny sank slowly down into her spot next to Sheldon. "I think… I think I need wine." She muttered slowly.

Raj appeared almost instantly with an open bottle of her favorite pinot grigio. He poured her a glass and she clutched it eagerly.

Sheldon frowned. "You aren't going to hold that during the movie, are you? Because last time you fell asleep and it took me weeks to get the smell of white wine out of my flash t shirt."

She gave him another wide eyed stare and downed the glass. "No, sweetie, I'm not planning on drinking during the movie. Do you think you can go get me a napkin from the kitchen?"

He nodded, clearly sensing that something was off, although he wasn't entirely sure what it was.

The second he left she motioned to Raj. "Hit me again. Does… does Sheldon know?"

They all shook their heads. "We thought that you would tell him. Once, you know, you figured it out." Bernadette explained gently.

Howard leapt to his feet unable to contain his glee. "I won! I WON! I'm closest in the pool, cough up the cash, people."

Penny downed her second glass of wine. "There's a pool?"

They all shrugged sheepishly as they reluctantly passed Howard their money.

Penny gaped. Apparently she was in the world's most twisted relationship, and she didn't even know it. "Oh, my god." She muttered again.

She waved Raj away when he went to refill her glass for a third time. "No, Sheldon is right. I'll just spill it. Oh, my god. Shit." She muttered, sinking her head into her hands. "I'm in a relationship. With Sheldon. And I don't even get sex."

She looked up, suddenly frantic. "OH MY GOD. I'm never going to have sex again."

Amy patted her knee comfortingly. "To be fair, this has been going on for over a year now, and you haven't missed it thus far." She reminded her friend.

Penny groaned and held her hand out for the glass of wine. Raj handed it to her hastily. She downed it, and hastily handed him back the glass before Sheldon came back.

"I think that's worse." She muttered darkly. "I need sex! It's important to me! Sheldon- "

She shut her mouth abruptly as Sheldon came in, sliding innocently back into his spot and handing her a napkin.

"Are you feeling well? You look pale." He looked suddenly horrified. "You aren't sick, are you?"

She shook her head wearily, starting to feel very tipsy from the three glasses of wine she had just polished off. "No, sweetie. Let's just…start the movie."

Everyone rushed to get situated for the movie, Bernadette pressing the remote to turn it on as Raj turned out the lights on his way back to his spot on the floor.

Amy patted Penny's shoulder as she too returned to her former location.

Penny closed her eyes, sank her head into her hands, and promptly passed out. Her body sagged to the side against Sheldon, who let out a surprised gasp.

"Penny," He whispered, gently shaking her shoulder three times. "Penny." Three more shakes. "Penny" He completed the ritual and then sighed as she made no move to wake up.

Leonard hovered uncertainly for a moment longer. "Let her sleep, she's probably just exhausted." He instructed Sheldon.

Sheldon shot him a look of horror. "But she can't be comfortable there."

Leonard shook his head and gently helped Sheldon shift Penny into a more upright position. He smiled mischievously as Sheldon relaxed into his seat. "There seems to be a small stain near your right hand." Leonard whispered.

As he had known he would, Sheldon immediately lifted his hand to rest along the back of the couch. "Oh no, did I touch it?" He whispered fearfully.

"Nope." Leonard swiftly shoved Penny so that she lay against Sheldon's chest. In her sleep she sighed contentedly and snuggled closer.

Sheldon froze, terror plain in his eyes.

"Enjoy the movie." Leonard whispered, sidling innocently away.

"Leonard!" He hissed. "Leonard! Help!"

Bernadette turned towards him, smiling evilly. "Shh. No talking during the movie. It's your rule!"

Sheldon sighed, uncomfortable but unable to argue with his own logic. He gingerly shifted his arm so that it lay around her shoulders, finding it was uncomfortable to leave it across the top of the couch.

She smiled contentedly in her sleep, mumbling something incoherent into his shirt. He patted her arm.

"Shhh. No talking." He reminded her, even though she was asleep and couldn't hear a thing. It made him feel more comfortable, and that was the important thing. He should give Leonard a strike for this. He knew that. But he found, as the moments passed and nothing terrible happened, that his anger with Leonard faded.

He supposed that if he was going to catch some terrible infection from Penny he would have contracted it long before now. And it wasn't _un_comfortable to have her cuddled up against him. He found that her warmth was…rather nice. It wasn't long before he, too, drifted off to sleep.


End file.
